


Wide Awake

by lastweekon



Category: Ghost Adventures (TV)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, keeping secrets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-09
Updated: 2016-09-13
Packaged: 2018-08-14 00:09:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7991389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lastweekon/pseuds/lastweekon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nick is having nightmares about Zak and he struggles to keep them a secret.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Nick jolted awake. Zak’s cries of pain still twisting painfully at his insides. His body shook as he worked to slow his breathing. He didn’t know how much more of this he could take. Every time he closed his eyes, he was being subjected to the worst kind of torture he could imagine. His eyes prickled with tears, but he fought them back. He couldn’t wake Zak. He didn’t want to have to explain and see the worry in the older man’s eyes.   
He pulled Zak in closer, feeling his arms shake around the strong body. He pressed his lips to Zak’s forehead, closing his eyes as he said a silent prayer of thanks. Zak was safe. It was just a dream. Another gut-wrenching, soul-crushing dream. But all that mattered was that it wasn’t real. He tried his best to focus on the warmth of Zak’s body burrowed into his side. The peaceful inhale and exhale as the older man slept soundly next to him. But he couldn’t calm down. Not with Zak’s screams echoing in his head.   
He sat up, carefully dislodging himself from under the older man. He made his way to the bathroom, splashing water on his face as he sucked in breath after breath. He was exhausted, days of restless sleep finally starting to catch up with him. But the thought of going back to sleep was unbearable. Not when it meant enduring another nightmare. Another scenario that ended with Zak hurt or worse.   
He breathed deeply, willing his body to stop shaking as he made his way toward his dresser. He looked to Zak, still sound asleep, arms wrapped around Nick’s pillow. Quietly, he inched the drawer open, grabbing for his running shorts and tank top. He changed quickly and quietly, sitting on the edge of the bed to lace up his shoes.   
“Where you going?” He heard Zak’s tired voice croak out.   
He turned to face the older man, working to wipe any signs of distress from his face.  
“Sorry for waking you, babe. Gonna go for a run.”  
“It’s 4am.” Zak said, clearly confused.   
“I know. Just wanted to get a jump on the day.” Nick said as nonchalantly as he could manage. “Overachiever.” Zak teased.  
Nick smiled at the older man, making his way over to kiss him softly. He felt his chin quiver as he fought back tears, but Zak didn’t seem to notice as he kissed back sleepily.   
“Come back to bed when you’re done.” Zak said, flopping his head back into the pillows.   
“Okay.” Nick said with a final smile before making his way out the door. 

Nick breathed heavily as his legs pounded down the pavement. The sun was just starting to peek over the horizon and he could already feel the temperature climbing. Sweat poured down his face and neck as his tired body continued to work. His adrenaline was the only thing keeping him going at this point. He had hoped the run would help relieve the stress of the nightmares, but he found himself still on the verge of tears. Bits and pieces flashed through his mind, twisting at him as he struggled to hold in the sobs. Zak’s desperate screams for help, the blood draining from his face as it pooled around him on the floor, the image of his eyes fluttering closed as Nick begged him to stay awake just a little bit longer. Nick could still feel Zak’s hand, limp in his. He felt the grief of _knowing_ the older man was gone as it washed over him once more. It was too much. It hurt too much.   
He came to a stop, leaning against a nearby tree as waves of nausea rolled over his body. He retched, feeling his body give over to the grief and exhaustion. He knew Zak was fine. At home, in bed and sleeping soundly, but the pain rolled over him all the same. He allowed the tears to come. He knew they would one way or another, and he’d rather cry here by himself than worry Zak. He inhaled deeply, feeling the smallest bit of relief in the tears as they rolled down his cheeks. He wiped his eyes on his shirt, knowing that he needed to collect himself enough to go home to Zak. He stretched his sore muscles, spitting the taste of bile from his mouth before he turned to run toward home. 

Nick climbed into bed, hair still damp from his shower. His body was wrecked but he was already nervous about falling back asleep. Zak registered the movement, stirring in his sleep. He wrapped himself around Nick before the younger man had even settled into the bed.   
“You smell good.” he mumbled sleepily.   
“Figured I should take a shower for you.” Nick said, hand running over Zak’s back.   
“How was the run?”   
“It was okay.” Nick said. “Glad it’s over.”   
“Me too.” Zak agreed, kissing Nick’s chest. “You keep waking up earlier and earlier. I need my Nick time.”   
Nick breathed a quiet laugh, hugging the older man tighter against him.   
“What time is it?” Zak asked, eyes drooping.   
“A little after six. You’ve still got some time to sleep.”   
“That was a really long run.” Zak said sleepily.  
“I showered too.” Nick said, hoping to explain away the time he’d spent trying to get it together before coming back to bed.   
“That’s still a long run.” Zak said, clearly a little suspicious of the unexplained time gap.   
“Well, I also met my other boyfriend for breakfast…”  
“You jerk...” Zak laughed, with a well-placed smack to Nick’s chest.   
Nick chuckled softly, hoping he’d successfully distracted the older man.   
“You better take that back.” Zak said, lifting his eyes to meet Nick’s with a daring grin.  
“Or what?” Nick smirked back.  
“Or else.” Zak said, sitting up to straddle the younger man. He leaned in, bringing his mouth to Nick’s ear. “Or else I’m gonna have to make you pay.” he whispered hotly, sending shivers over the younger man’s skin.  
Nick smiled as Zak’s weight settled on his hips. This was exactly the kind of distraction he needed right now.  
“Let’s see what you got.” Nick challenged, leaning in to capture Zak’s lips. 

“Talk about a waking up on the right side of the bed!” Zak breathed heavily. “That was amazing.”  
“It was.” Nick agreed as he worked to catch his breath. “You’re so sexy when you take control like that.”  
“Yeah?” Zak asked with a shy smile. “So, who was better, me or your other boyfriend?”   
Nick laughed. He loved it when Zak got competitive. Even when there was no one to compete against.   
“Definitely you.” Nick said, pressing his lips to the older man’s. “No contest.”  
“Good.” Zak smiled, resting his head on the younger man’s shoulder. “Nick?”  
“There’s nobody else, babe.” Nick said with a chuckle.   
“I know...” Zak said, smiling against Nick’s skin. “It’s just...you’re okay, right?”  
“Yeah, of course.” Nick lied. He felt Zak shift slightly and he could tell the older man wasn’t entirely convinced.  
“You just seem...I don’t know, stressed or something.”   
“I’m fine.” Nick said, not wanting to explain himself. He could already feel the lump rising in his throat.  
“Nick-”   
“Zak, I’m _fine_.”  
Zak pushed the blankets back, climbing off the bed.  
“Where are you going?” Nick asked. Zak was upset and Nick hated that he was the cause.   
“I’m gonna get ready.” Zak said, not meeting the younger man’s eyes.   
“Babe…”  
“It’s fine, Nick.”  
“No, it’s not.” Nick said, standing from the bed to pull the older man into his arms. “I’m sorry for snapping. Maybe I _am_ a little stressed.”  
“What’s going on?” Zak asked, cupping Nick’s face in his hand.   
“It’s nothing, really. I think I’m just over-tired.”   
“Are you sure that’s all?” Zak asked, searching the younger man’s eyes.  
“Yeah. I’ll be fine.” Nick assured him, pulling him in close. “Just don’t be mad at me, okay?”  
“I’m not.” Zak said sincerely. “Just worried.”   
“You don’t need to be.” Nick said with a peck to Zak’s lips and a smack on the ass. “Now, go get in the shower and I’ll make us some breakfast.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick's nightmares are getting worse and he's not sure how much longer he can keep them a secret.

Nick rubbed his eyes, settling into the couch as he continued reading. His eyes were starting to droop but he knew going to sleep meant nightmares and he wasn’t ready to handle that yet. They were getting worse and he wasn’t sure how much longer he could keep it quiet. The night before he’d accidentally woken Zak, screaming out for him in his sleep. He’d managed to explain it away without raising too much suspicion. Nightmares were common in their line of work. But soon, Zak would start to ask questions and Nick didn’t want to scare him with the answers.   
Truthfully, he didn’t know _what_ was causing these dreams. He’d assumed they were the result of an investigation, but he hadn’t felt particularly affected by anything recently and he’d done everything he could think of to manage the stress of a possible oppression with no change. The truth was, he was starting to worry that the dreams were some kind of awful premonition. Just thinking about the possibility filled him with a crushing sense of dread. If something happened to Zak, he didn’t know what he’d do. It was the worst thing he could imagine, and he was living through it night after night.  
“Hey you.” Zak said, sneaking up behind Nick as he sat on the couch. The older man wrapped his arms around him, hands running over Nick’s chest. “Come to bed.”  
Nick smiled, happy for the warmth of Zak’s touch.  
“I’m not tired yet.” he said, running his hands over Zak’s arms around him.   
Zak leaned in, kissing his way up Nick’s neck as his hands moved over the younger man’s chest and shoulders.   
“Me either.” he smirked.   
Nick tilted his head to the side, pressing his lips to Zak’s. The older man kissed back, pawing at Nick as his tongue made its way into the younger man’s mouth. Nick groaned as Zak’s fingernails scratched their way up his torso. He was eager tonight and Nick didn’t mind one bit. 

Nick fought to keep his eyes open as Zak snored softly against his chest. The warmth and weight of the older man’s body on his was better than any sleeping pill he’d ever tried. He knew if he didn’t get up soon, he’d be suffering through another nightmare within minutes. He rolled Zak carefully, moving so their bodies lay curled together on their sides. Nick waited as Zak settled into his position and eventually his soft snores resumed. Nick leaned in, gently kissing the older man’s temple before slowly climbing off the bed.   
He tip toed down the stairs, flopping onto the couch and picking up his book. He’d rather be in bed with Zak, but that wasn’t an option right now. He settled into the cushions, picking up where he’d left off. After a few minutes, his eyes began to droop. He shifted positions on the couch, hoping to wake his body up, but it was no use. His blinks were getting longer as he slowly sunk into darkness.   
“Good book?” Zak asked, rousing Nick from sleep.   
“What? Oh, yeah. I couldn’t stop thinking about it so I came down to read. I must have fallen asleep.” Nick explained, hoping Zak wouldn’t be too upset with him.   
“Is everything okay?” Zak asked, worry clear on his face.  
“Yeah, I just couldn’t sleep.” Nick said. “Go back to bed, I’ll be up in a bit.”  
“Why don’t we go for a drive?” Zak suggested brightly.   
“Now?”   
“Yeah, we could watch the sunrise over the desert.” He said. “You’re not tired and I’m up. Come on, it’ll be fun!”  
“Yeah, sure.” Nick said. He had to agree it sounded like a nice alternative to the nightmares. 

Soon they were making their way down the quiet streets of their neighborhood. The only people awake right now were on the strip, and they were heading the opposite direction. Nick had offered to drive, but one look at the bags under his eyes had Zak protesting. So instead, he was sitting comfortably in the passenger seat watching the street lights roll by.   
“Where are we going?” Nick asked.   
“You’ll see.” Zak smirked. “I’ve got the perfect spot in mind. We’ll be there in a little while.”   
Nick smiled, grabbing for Zak’s free hand and lacing their fingers together. He kept waiting for Zak to start asking questions, but the older man just drove quietly. Nick knew he must be wondering what was going on, what with the younger man’s recent sleep habits and the nightmares he’d had the night before. Zak just smiled back happily, squeezing Nick’s hand in his. He took a deep breath, bringing his other hand to his mouth to hide a yawn.  
“Why don’t you close your eyes for a bit. I’ll wake you when we get there.” Zak said.   
“No, that’s okay.” Nick said. “I’m awake.”   
“Okay.” Zak smiled, running his thumb over the younger man’s hand.   
They drove in silence for a while. Zak’s thumb continuing to move soothingly over Nick’s hand. The younger man could feel himself beginning to nod off and he shifted in his seat, fighting to stay awake. Zak released Nick’s hand, bringing his own to the younger man’s neck to rub the tension from his shoulders.   
“Just relax..” he whispered as his hand traveled up, threading through Nick’s hair softly.   
Nick was defenseless as he felt his body begin to relax. His eyelids lowering against his will. And then he was out.   
Nick’s eyes popped open at the impact. His body flew forward, restrained by his seatbelt as it dug painfully into his chest and torso. He registered the sound of glass shattering and felt it as it sprayed across his face, slicing his skin. He called out for Zak, panic rising from his stomach. He couldn’t see clearly as he wiped at his face, clearing the shards of glass so he could open his eyes. He wiped at the warm blood dripping in his eyes, trying desperately to get a look at Zak. The older man wasn’t answering and Nick continued to call out for him as the car rolled over itself. After what felt like minutes, the rolling stopped and the car came to rest at what Nick realized was the bottom of an embankment.   
“Zak!” Nick called as he struggled to unbuckle himself. “Zak! Answer me. Please.”  
He could hear the fear in his own voice as his eyes began to prickle with tears. This couldn’t be happening. This couldn’t _really_ be happening. He managed to untangle himself from the seat belt, scrambling to face the older man. He lay slumped in his seat, bleeding heavily from a gash in his forehead.   
“Zak? Baby, please wake up.” Nick said, touching him carefully. His hands shook violently as waves of nausea rolled through him. He dug through his pocket for his phone, quickly dialing 911 as he began to sob. He pressed his fingers to Zak’s neck, searching for a pulse but his hands were shaking too hard and he couldn’t tell what he was feeling. “Zak, please…”  
“911, what’s your emergency.”  
“We were in an accident. Please...my boyfriend...please help.” Nick cried incoherently.  
“Okay sir, try to stay calm. Can you tell us where you are?”   
Nick panicked as he searched wildly for any signs or anything that would tell him where he was. He had no idea where Zak had been taking him and he didn’t recognize anything.   
“Sir?”  
“I don’t know...please, you have to hurry. He’s bleeding.” Nick begged.   
“Is he awake?”   
“No.” Nick sobbed into the phone.   
“Is he breathing?”   
“I don’t...I don’t think so.” Nick said. He felt like he was going to be sick, but he couldn’t leave Zak’s side.   
He grabbed for the older man’s hand, trying desperately to rub life back into the cold skin. The operator continued to speak, but he couldn’t make out what she was saying. He ran a hand over Zak’s cheek, feeling the soft skin under his fingertips. “Zak...don’t leave me. Please don’t leave me.” He pressed his lips softly to the older man’s, threading his fingers through the jet black hair. “I love you.” he whispered against Zak’s lips before burying his face in the older man’s neck. Sobs reverberated through his chest as he pulled Zak close to him. The pain was too much to bear and he prayed he wouldn’t survive it. Not without Zak. He pulled the older man in tighter, his sobs muffled against Zak’s chest as he called for him over and over. 

“Nick? Nick, come on. Wake up, babe. It’s okay.” Zak soothed.   
Nick slowly came to, tears streaming steadily down his cheeks as he registered his surroundings. He was on the couch, his book lay open next to him.   
“You’re okay, Nick. It was just a dream.” Zak said, hands running over the younger man’s arms. “It was just a dream.”  
“Zak?” Nick mumbled.  
“Yeah, babe. I’m right here. You’re okay.”   
“Zak...” Nick whimpered, burying his face in his hands as he continued to cry. He felt Zak’s arms wrap around him, pulling him in protectively, but it only made him cry harder. He was so relieved, but a part of him was still scared. Still mourning Zak even though he was right there next to him.  
“Shh…” Zak whispered, running his hand along Nick’s spine. “You’re awake. Everything’s okay now.”   
“I love you.” Nick whispered, wrapping his arms around the older man’s torso.   
“I love you too.” Zak said, worry creeping into his voice. “Babe, you scared the hell out of me. I heard you screaming. I didn’t even know you’d gotten out of bed.”   
“I’m sorry.”  
“It’s okay. Just tell me what happened. Let me make it better.” Zak said.   
“I...I’m scared. I’m so scared of losing you.” Nick’s voice shook as he buried his head into the older man’s neck.   
“Hey...I’m not going anywhere.” Zak said soothingly. “Is that why you’ve been having trouble sleeping? You think I’m gonna leave?”  
He paused, waiting for Nick to answer, but the younger man couldn’t bring himself to speak. Zak pulled back, looking Nick in the eyes expectantly.   
“Do you wanna leave _me_?” he asked, his blue eyes welling up.  
“No!” Nick said, grabbing for Zak’s hands and bringing them to rest over his own heart. “Not ever.”  
“Okay. Then, what’s going on?” Zak asked. “Whatever it is, please just tell me.”   
Nick nodded his head as he worked to collect himself. His body still shook with fear, but he held Zak’s hands tighter in his.   
“You know I haven’t been sleeping very well.” he started, struggling to hold eye contact with the older man. “Every time I fall asleep...I have these nightmares. And they feel so real, you know? And I’m scared to sleep. I’m scared to go to sleep because I don’t know how to stop them or what they mean.” he said, a new wave of tears rolling down his cheeks.   
“Okay.” Zak nodded thoughtfully. “And these nightmares, they’re not the usual kind?”  
Nick shook his head. They definitely weren’t his typical nightmares. He’d gladly take a lifetime of his usual nightmares if it meant he didn’t have to live through Zak dying again.   
“How long have they been going on?” Zak asked.   
“About three weeks.” Nick said quietly.   
“Do you think it’s an oppression of some kind?” Zak asked.   
“I don’t think so. I tried everything…” Nick said. “They just won’t stop.”  
“We’re gonna figure this out, okay?” Zak said, hands rubbing up and down the length of Nick’s arms.   
Nick nodded quietly. Zak smiled softly, bringing his lips to Nick’s before pressing their foreheads together.   
“I wish you’d told me about this sooner.”   
“I know, I’m sorry.” Nick said.   
“I just wanna help.” Zak said sincerely.  
“I know.” Nick said, pressing his lips to Zak’s before wrapping the older man up in his arms.   
They sat quietly for a moment, Nick hugging Zak close, thankful for the warmth of Zak’s breath on his neck and the steady beat of Zak’s heart against his own.   
“I know the dreams are about me.” Zak said softly, arms wrapping tighter around Nick as he spoke. “We don’t have to talk about it unless you want to. But whatever happened in the dreams...however I hurt you...I would never hurt you in real life.”  
Nick exhaled a ragged breath, pressing a kiss into the side of Zak’s neck. He always found a way to blame himself whenever Nick was in pain and the younger man couldn’t just stand by and let it happen.   
“You didn’t hurt me.” he said quietly, hearing the slight quiver in his own voice. He pulled back, looking Zak in the eyes. “I know you’d never hurt me.”  
“But your nightmares...they’re about me, right?”  
Nick nodded, unable to speak around the lump in his throat.   
“So, what happens in these dreams?” Zak asked, worry clouding his eyes.   
Nick inhaled deeply, willing his voice to stop shaking. He was scaring Zak enough as it was, and he refused to make it any worse.   
“Well, it’s never the same dream twice. But you always end up hurt...or worse.” he said, reaching out to grab Zak’s hand in his.   
“Oh…” Zak said, lowering his eyes to his hands.   
“I don’t want you to be scared, babe.” Nick said. “I’m sure it doesn’t mean anything.”  
“So, this happens every night?”  
“Yeah.” Nick said quietly.  
“That explains the early morning runs…”  
“Yeah...” Nick nodded. “After the nightmares, I’m just so wrecked. It’s impossible to wind back down. And even if I could, I’m too scared to fall back asleep.”   
“I’m so sorry, Nick.” Zak said. “I can’t even imagine. If it was me, I’d be a mess.”  
“It’s awful, Zak.” Nick said, eyes watering. “I just want it to stop.” He wiped his eyes. He was supposed to be staying strong here. “Sorry, I’m just so tired.”  
“Shh.” Zak whispered, rubbing calming circles along the younger man’s back. “It’s okay. Everything’s gonna be okay. We’re gonna figure this out. I promise.”  
“Yeah, okay.” Nick nodded.   
“In the meantime, you need to try and get some sleep.”   
“No.” Nick insisted. “I can’t.”  
“Nick, you have to try.”  
“ _I can’t_ , Zak. I can’t…”   
“Babe, you’re exhausted.” Zak reasoned, resting a hand on Nick’s thigh. “You can’t stay awake forever.”  
“I can try.” Nick said defiantly.  
“Come on.” Zak said, grabbing for Nick’s hand and pulling the younger man to stand.  
“Where are we going?”  
“I’m taking you to bed.”  
“But-”  
“Don’t argue with me, Nick.” Zak warned, leading the younger man up the stairs.   
Nick followed silently. He knew there was no getting out of this. Especially now that Zak had his mind made up. Zak crawled onto the bed, laying back and spreading his arms out for Nick to join him.  
“Zak-”  
“Nick, get in this bed or so help me…”  
“Okay, okay.” Nick relented, joining Zak on the bed. The older man wrapped his arms around Nick, pulling him in to lay on his chest. It wasn’t often Nick laid like this, arm wrapped around the older man, his head tucked securely under Zak’s chin. Usually it was the other way around. But he had to admit, the position was extremely comforting. Already, he could feel his body melting into Zak’s.   
“Try to sleep.” Zak whispered, hand rubbing the length of Nick’s spine.   
“I’m scared.”   
“I’ll be right here.” Zak said quietly. “I’m not gonna fall asleep. And I promise I’ll wake you up if you start to have a nightmare.”  
“Zak, we can’t do this forever.” Nick protested.   
“We’re not _gonna_ do this forever.” Zak said. “We’re gonna do it tonight. And then tomorrow, we’re gonna figure this out.”  
Nick smiled softly at Zak’s confidence. When the older man set his mind to something, he usually made it happen. And Nick couldn’t help but find a bit of comfort in that.   
“Thank you.” Nick said softly.  
“I haven’t done anything yet.”   
“Yes you have.” Nick said, lifting his head to look Zak in the eyes. He leaned in, pressing his lips to the older man’s. “You have.”   
Zak smiled happily, carding a hand through the back of Nick’s hair. Nick exhaled deeply, resting his head back down and letting the warmth of Zak’s skin sink into his bones.  
“You’re not gonna fall asleep, right?” Nick mumbled, already feeling his eyelids growing heavier.   
“Not a chance.” Zak whispered, pulling Nick in closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for indulging me in another nightmare-themed fic. I can't promise it will be the last! I enjoy writing them too much. Hope you enjoy reading them!

**Author's Note:**

> I can't quit this whole nightmare storyline. I've written it a few times now but I'm still loving it. It's just so angsty and fluffy and wonderful! Hopefully you enjoy it too!
> 
> This is the first of two chapters (I think). Already working on the second one. Stay tuned!


End file.
